Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Thanksgiving Plans

Normally for our family the holidays are spent with my family rather then my hubby's. Not splitting the holidays up between our families is simply because his family doesn't ever want to spend time with us. They never invite us to anything, we always find out about the gathering after the fact when someone says "why weren't you there?". So we've just given up on them. I know that they don't really like me. His sisters have been known to tell lies about me to get him to give them what they want. And it's usually money. Honestly that's the only time they ever call, when they need money.

So as my sister and I have been going about planning our Thanksgiving dinner as usual we get a phone call from his brother. Inviting us to Thankgiving dinner with his family. So of course my guard goes up knowing that it's almost certain that someone needs money. That is after all the only time they ever call us. L and I talked about it and although I will completely admit it was dragging my feet I agreed to go. After all his brother had made the effort to include us.

So I told L he had to call and find out what we needed to bring. He did and the response he got was "oh whatever it doesn't really matter". Which to me translates to "we really didn't want you guys here anyway so bring whatever it doesn't matter".

I know that I have to suck it up and go. It is his family and I can't make it hard on him to spend time with them. Even if they don't really want me there. But yet I'm battling with that little part of me that wants to say "NO WAY I'M NOT SPENDING MY HOLIDAY WITH THOSE PEOPLE". I mean should you be spending Thanksgiving with the people you are Thankful for. Not with people who have continually stomped on you and used you for years.

I haven't even spoken to most of his family in over a year after the last time they stirred things up with lies to get him to give one of them money. I know that I need to ask God to help me with forgiving them and yet not letting them get to me either. I'm honestly not angry with them. I can truly say that I really feel nothing for them. And after being part of this family for over 15 years that is sad to me. I can't imagine making my sister-in-law feel the way they have made me feel. Or treating anyone they way they have treated me.

I guess what I can be Thankful for is that I have family and friends that truly love me and like me being around and want to be part of my daughter's life. Even if my in-laws don't.

1 comment:

Marva said...

I just wanted to tell you that I completely understand.

My mil and sil's made me awful after we married every HOLIDAY!

I hated going. I will not go into all of the things they have lied on me about, talked to others about me about and done to me.

My mil passed in March after a short battle with cancer. We made things right before she passed. things actually seem better now with my sil's.

I prayed about it and it is a work in progress.

I will be thinking of you. Take what you want to take to the gathering. Hold you head up high, smile and speak to everyone and have a little talk to your hubby before hand.

Thankfully he saw the light during the gathering right after we talked and he decided then I was going to come before his family.

Let us know how it goes!

Blessings!!!